Day 38 – Life Balance is a Key to Success

We have talked about many things that are keys to success. Although many of the items refer to operating a business these keys are not just for career or business purposes. You can apply these keys towards your personal areas as well.

I have a few personal areas that I am working on as well and want to succeed in. I am applying the keys to them as well. Today I heard some good news about someone else who has achieved a level of personal success. They are starting a new family and a new life. I was so excited about that.

But at the same time it made me look at my own personal success. I cannot measure my success by someone else’s so I had to look at my personal life to see if it requires some of the same attention that I have given to my business life. The answer is yes. So I have decided to work on my personal success as well.

Having a balanced life is important. Giving all of your attention to one area will pull resources from others and cause a deficit. While my business is very important, as it will affect my ability to take care of my family, it is not worth sacrificing other areas of my life.

So as you pursue your goals make sure that you divide your time equally and don’t neglect any areas of your life. Having a well-balanced lifestyle is an essential key to success.

Day 29 – Being True to Your Self is a Key to Success

I have been quoting a lot of Bible scriptures in the last few posts. God is always present in my life and the Bible gives me inspiration, direction and peace. I know that not everyone shares that but I am sure there is something that does the same for you. It may be the words of wisdom from a mentor, an author, a motivational speaker, a religious leader, Buddha or other religious texts such as the Qur’an. Whatever it is you should seek it diligently and use it to find the truth.

I gave both of my sons study Bibles for Christmas so that they could begin their journey toward their truth. Each Bible has additional content that is geared toward their age group. I have found myself drawn to my younger son’s Bible. It is the Guy’s Life Application Bible and written with extra text that relate to the issues of boys between the ages of nine to thirteen.  I really liked the scripture on the first page that states:

“Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12 NLT

Very adequate considering the Bible is geared towards young boys. However this scripture is not about a young boy. It is about a prophet named Timothy who was young in his ministry. Paul admonished him to not allow others opinion of him to lessen his self-confidence. He was chosen for the task at hand and was well equipped to carry it out. But people may look at his youth and think that he was not qualified. Instead he told him to become the standard, be an example in all you do and say.

We can be our own worst critics and may feel unworthy, under qualified or say to ourselves. “Who am I do this?” But I say to you “Who are you not to do this?” Let your light shine! Find your truth, your passion, that thing ignites you and brings a smile to your face and do it. Do it just because you want to, because you love to. If one of your friends or family members looks at you and says, “What are you doing?” Just look back at them, smile and keep going.

This happened to me the other day. I was feeling really good and I like to wear nice pieces of jewelry, different styles not typical ones. Well on this day I was wearing a choker necklace I have had for many years. I never wore it much because I did not have matching earrings. Well a few months ago I found a unique pair of matching earrings. I wore the set earlier this week. It looked good on me and was quite sexy.

Well a family member saw me wearing it and commented. They said, “Is that choking your neck?” “Why are you trying to be so fancy?” I did not comment, I simply smiled and kept going. I felt good in it and it looked good on me. I was not going to allow some else’s negative opinion of it to make me stop wearing it. In fact, I can’t wait to wear it again. I am setting an example and will continue to do so.

I am living my life on purpose, not by accident. I am doing things deliberately and with much passion. It was a decision I made a few years ago when I found myself suddenly single again with three children. The world is mine and before me stands a clean slate. Yes I made some mistakes but they were yesterday. Tomorrow is open for discussion. I want to enjoy my life and seek to do so. I no longer try to bury my passions instead I use them a fuel.

Find your truth, embrace your passion and use it to fuel your life! Get going!

Day 26 – Cycle of Failure Immobilizes with Fear

You may have this type of thought pattern: “I am so mad at him for hurting me, why did he do this to me? Why do I have to keep getting hurt? Why do I keep choosing the wrong people/path? I am so angry that it keeps me from allowing others into my life. What if I end up alone because of my anger?”

This thought pattern keeps you going in circles turning the hurt and anger over and over in your head. Then you begin to realize that your anger does affect your other relationships so then you become scared, fearful that you will be alone and keep new relationships from blooming in your life. The fear then takes over and you become immobilized, unable to move in any direction.

You can become fearful of things such as:

  • Fear of acting upon the anger
  • Fear of being rejected again
  • Fear of experiencing the same pain again
  • Fear that you will never get out of this cycle
  • Fear that you will die under the generational curse
  • Fear that your children will suffer from your inability to overcome this
  • Fear of being alone
  • Fear that if you really stood up for what you wanted you would not be accepted, not be loved and end up alone.

The fears begin to engulf you and take over your thinking, your actions and your feelings, which results in depression. To conquer fear you must face it head on and rid yourself of the self-defeating thought patterns. So today I offer you a prayer for mind cleansing and clarity. Once your thoughts are clear you will be able to handle those fearful thoughts and not allow them to overtake you.

Heavenly Father,

I come to you now as humbly as I know how and ask you according to John 14: 13-14, to wash over my mind with the blood of Jesus and cleanse out all darkness and all thoughts that are contrary to Your will and destiny for my life. I ask You to shut any doors that need to be shut whether spiritual or natural, and to open any doors that need to be opened whether spiritual or natural in my life. Father, I ask you to give me clarity of vision, clarity of sight, clarity of thought, clarity of mind, clarity of knowing, and hearing Your voice according to John 16:23.

In Jesus Name I claim this victory today according to John 14:14.

Amen

Day 25 – Cycle of Failure Builds with Anger

Anger builds up because you are unable to forgive yourself or others for mistakes that have caused pain. Perhaps you were hurt and you are holding on to the hurt and the unforgiveness, which eventually turns into anger. You then become angry with yourself, your life, and the person who hurt you or even the world.

Do you know how many angry people are walking around in this world? Most are angry over things that happened many years ago. Anger that is not properly dealt with can become toxic to you and others around you. You will find yourself yelling at others when they have not done anything to you.

If you are a fighter you may find yourself always engaged in a physical fight over something minor. The anger that builds up during the altercation rarely warrants the actions. It builds from the deep-rooted anger inside you and becomes a boiling pot.

It is especially hard for women who are angry because they can sometimes be called a ?itch, a woman scorned. They are not pleasant to be around and you certainly do not want to feel their wrath. I remember the movie Delores Claiborne where the older rich lady never got along with anybody, only her housekeeper Delores. She told Delores one day that sometimes being a ?itch is all a woman has. What a statement to make about yourself. Indeed, when you are not able to conquer your anger and deal with your past hurts being a ?itch is all you will have.

So today I offer you this prayer to help against anger.

Heavenly Father,

I come to you in humility and lowliness of mind. I acknowledge my sin of anger and I repent and turn away from that way to walk in Your chosen paths of righteousness. I ask you to forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness, pride, hate, rage, bitterness, resentment, strife, contention, taking offense, giving offense, misplaced hostility, indifference and all forms of anger in my life. Father fill me in all of these areas that were set free with Your love and Your Holy Spirit.

In Jesus Name I claim this victory today according to John 14:14.

Amen

Day 22 – Breaking the Cycle of Failure is a Key to Success

The path to success begins with letting go of past hurts and failures. This is my third time starting up a business. My first attempt was a full-time partnership that did not succeed and the second one was successful as a part-time venture. But now I am launching a full-time business again and I could dwell upon my previous unsuccessful business but instead I chose not to. I dealt with the reasons the business was unsuccessful, learned what I could from it and moved on.

But I have not done that so quickly in all areas of my life. I have found myself locked into this cycle where I would go through guilt, anger, fear and depression. I stayed locked in the cycle for many years feeling unworthy and depressed most of the time. It kept me from moving forward in so many areas. But I began to deal with the cycle and learned how to break out of it.

The Cycle of Failure

I call this the Cycle of Failure and it can keep you from moving forward into the freedom of success that exists for you. That is the freedom from bondage, from bad habits, from repeated bad relationships, from poor decision-making and from insecurity. I call it the Cycle of Failure because each time you complete the cycle and start it again you fail. The cycle does not lead to success it leads to insanity. Insanity can be defined as repeating the same thing over and over again expecting a different result each time. This is the Cycle of Failure and it can be applied to many areas of your life both personal and professional. Maybe your career has suffered or you have recently found yourself without a job and began this cycle as a result of that. Maybe you have ended a relationship that is similar to one you ended several years ago. Whatever it is you have begun to recognize a pattern and have probably asked is this DeJa Vu?

Since this is a long piece I will break down the Cycle of Failure over several posts. For today I leave you with this prayer to help you begin to identify your Cycle of Failure and cast out the Spirit of Error and bring forth the Spirit of Truth.

Heavenly Father,

I thank you for allowing me another opportunity to speak with you. I pray that you forgive me for my shortcomings, open my eyes to see my Cycle of Failure and allow the Holy Spirit to assist me with the binding of the Spirit of Error that has followed my life.

Strongman called Spirit of Error, I bind you in the Name of Jesus Christ and declare that all of your works, roots, fruits, tentacles, links, and spirits, are dead works in my life including (specifically name those things/people). I bind you and loose you from me today to go wherever Jesus Christ sends you and command you not to come back into our presence again.

I ask you Heavenly Father to loose into my life today the Spirit of Truth according to 1 John 4:6 and Psalms 51:10.

In Jesus Name I claim this victory today according to John 14:14.

Amen

Day Fifteen – Focus is a Key to Success

Today I attended a webinar on Web Analytics. It was boring, can’t really say that I learned anything other than all of the acronyms that are used when talking about analyzing web data. But it did spark something for me to consider for the business. I do need to track and analyze the traffic data from all of my websites. But recently I have really taken on too much, thus my focus has shifted and I now feel like I am missing some things.

Focus on Immediate Needs

I have taken on something new without making sure that the things I had already started are completed and today I felt that pressure. I decided that next year I will need to get some help if I am going to accomplish my goals. So I started looking for a Virtual Assistant. But during that process my focus shifted from what I was working on to a future need. Then it all became too big and overwhelming.

Focus means, “to concentrate attention or effort.”[1] In order to meet your goals and be successful, you need to be able to focus and not allow your focus shift towards things that are not related to your immediate goals. Yes, hiring a Virtual Assistant is related to my business goals, but it is not an immediate goal. It is a mid-term goal, which means it will not happen for another 3 to 6 months. The more immediate goals need to be accomplished within a one-month period. Therefore my focus should remain on them.

Getting Off Track

When you get off track and allow your focus to shift towards longer terms goals your task can seem overwhelming thus leading to confusion and anxiety. So goals should be attainable and manageable. For example what I am working on right now is an immediate goal because I need to use it this week, however it will benefit my business on a larger scale on a longer term as well. Therefore it has a bigger picture but a more immediate need. Versus the need for the Virtual Assistant, which right now I am handling things on my own. However I realized today that as I get more clients, my time spent doing administrative and operational tasks will diminish. The bigger picture shows that I will need an assistant but the need is not immediate. Therefore it is not something that needs my immediate focus.

So how do we stay focused on our immediate tasks? I have a dry erase board that lists only the immediate business tasks, projects or clients that I am focused on. Therefore these things are what usually get my focus. When I was shifted today, I did not immediately go back to what I was working on. So I took a break. I stepped away from all of it and cleared my mind so that I could get back on track. When I came back I was able to set aside the search for a Virtual Assistant and pick up where my focus should have been.

Distractions will come so you should expect them. But you need to have something that will jolt you back to your focus. Sometimes it is helpful to write out your immediate goals and post them somewhere visible so that you can quickly refer to them. Find what works for you but you need to stay focused in order to succeed.


[1] Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary Tenth Edition. 2001

Day Seven – The Finish Line

Wow we have completed the first week of 40 days to success! As I reflect back on the past week, I celebrate this first success in the journey. Although I got off track, I finished the week. I made it across the finish line. (Don’t you here the crowd cheering?)

Yesterday I had a conversation with a close friend. We have walked a similar journey in some areas of our lives. As we were reflecting we wondered why we kept repeating some patterns especially the part about moving quite frequently. Moving so much makes me feel incomplete, like I have no place to be. I have learned in my journey with God that when we have to repeat things over and over it means we did not complete the task the way he intended.

Walking in Circles

He allowed the Israelites to wander in the wilderness for 40 years for disobedience (not doing things his way). Imagine walking around the same mountain for 40 years. I wonder if any of them questioned God to find out what they had to do to stop walking in circles? Well when I find myself walking in circles, repeating the same thing two times, (okay maybe its more than twice) I begin to ask questions. I begin to examine my choices and steps to see if they are in line with the plan.

I have been in this place far too many times in the past seven years. It is an uncomfortable place for me, therefore each time that I am here I rush to get out of it. Only it is a temporary fix and then I find myself back here again. This time I have decided to do something different. I am walking the straight path towards God’s promise and plan for my life.

The Straight and Narrow Path

God intends for me to live a life of commitment and stability. He wants my commitment to him and his plan for my life, which will bring about stability. This is a straight and narrow path that leads only to God. But I have been so focused on doing it my way, to hurry up and get out of the uncomfortable place, that I keep ending up walking in circles. But that uncomfortable place can be a place of growth and propel you into your permanent placement, but with growth comes pain and sacrifice. I don’t know too many people who welcome either.

This time I have committed myself to this process. I am not rushing to get out this time. I will walk out this time and never return to this path again. I have also verbally spoken this into existence, it has happened in other areas of my life and true to my word I never walked in those circles again. Therefore I declare today that I will step off the path of moving constantly and commit myself to God’s process towards stability. This is the last year my children and I will live with relatives and friends. Going forward we will have our own and declare that we will always have a place to be as long as we walk the path with God.