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Choosing a Life Coach

Life Coach Expertise

Choosing a life coach is something that should not be done on a whim. In this technology age, it is easy for anyone to attach a title to their name and advertise as a life coach. In her article, 7 Questions to Ask When Choosing a Life Coach, Romila “Dr. Romie” Mushtaq, MD, points out that “people can claim to be a life coach but may have done so by watching videos or reading self-help books.” She recommends asking specific questions about where they obtained their training and exactly what makes them an expert or authority in their coaching niche. 

A life coach’s personal experience is a big part of their expertise or authority in their niche. For example, I am a Life Calling Coach. I help people discover their calling and purpose. A big part of that process is overcoming obstacles, barriers, and hurdles on the path to purpose. The things you don’t plan for. They happen to everyone even life coaches and other professionals. I am equipped to help people overcome because I have successfully overcome many life obstacles on my journey to become a life coach, including financial setbacks, illness, disability, anxiety, etc. Some of these things may still exist but I have learned how to work around them and an experienced life coach should be able to help you do the same.                                                                                                                                                           

Interview Prospective Coaches

If you are considering hiring a life coach, I recommend that you interview the coach. Most life coaches offer a free discovery meeting. This is your opportunity to find out who they are in person. Yes, I do recommend that you read their biography or social media posts to understand what is offered, but these sources rarely portray the spirit, essence, and training of the coach.  

During your research remember that life coaches are people just like you, with struggles, issues, and setbacks. Personally, I would never hire a life coach who appears to be perfect because they are not and they may not even be qualified to be a coach. One of the questions recommended in the article, is to ask the life coach, “Where did you do your training?” Some people claim to be a life coach but have never received any formal training in the field.

A Good Fit

The most important aspect of hiring a life coach is to ensure that the two of you are a good fit. Do you have a good rapport? Does the coach listen to you intently? Do they try to tell you what to do rather than guiding you to discover your answer? Do you have a sense of trust with them? These are important things to consider because it is a huge responsibility to put crucial parts of your life in someone’s hands. Your life coach should take that seriously and respect that. Lastly, while life coaching is a paid profession, money should not be the number one reason that they are a life coach. Life coaches should have a genuine desire to help others succeed. This can be seen in a discovery call.

The life coaching journey is not easy, it is a process of self-discovery that may be overwhelming as you learn more about yourself. So, having a professional, caring, and well-trained life coach, who can facilitate your journey with as little stress as possible, will help you to achieve your goals sufficiently. Your coach should make the experience rewarding and uplifting instead of scary and daunting. You owe it to yourself to hire the best life coach for your life situation. So don’t skimp when it comes to thoroughly investigate what they can truly offer. Ask questions and do your research but most of all listen to your intuition.

Planning for Growth: Self Care Plans

They succeed instinctively because they each know their own temp and recognize it in the individuals and institutions with who they collaborate.” T.D. Jakes

Bishop T.D. Jakes wrote a book on instincts to enlighten the world about tapping into their inner being and living instinctively. The word “instinct” sends our minds to the animal kingdom but humans have natural instincts too.  Animals rely on their instincts for survival or else they become prey for predators. It’s something that occurs naturally and is not taught. Using your instincts is crucial to establishing a good self care plan.

Do you know yourself well enough to live by instincts? Living by instinct requires you to trust that little voice inside. This occurs when you take time to learn yourself as an individual. Intimately knowing self is the core of self-love and self-care. Proper self-care and self-nurture leads to growth. You make time for everyone except self, which stagnates individual instinctive growth.

Your instincts are at the core of your being, your spirit, your gut, your third eye, your chakras, your internal compass. Learning who you are instinctively takes time which means you will need to allow more time for self. Instinctive growth helps you tap into your core, and learn who you are, what you are naturally good at, what you are passionate about, and, how you learn, how you fall, your strengths, your weak areas, and more.  Use the information you discover to create your self-care plan so you can grow instinctively.

Instinctive Growth & Self Care Plans

Instinctive growth involves listening to your inner being to move along the path of self-care. How does one grow instinctively? It requires being in sync with yourself, God (Universe, Higher Power), your environments, your relationships, and your purpose.

The process of instinctive growth includes:

  1. Growing from the inner being outwardly
  2. Adopting or working from a growth mindset
  3. Recognizing constant growth within you
  4. Seeking opportunities to grow

Use stagnation as a tool to measure and review areas in your life for possible pruning. When you are in tune with your instincts you will recognize when you  need to establish boundaries, which helps develop self-discipline.

Path to Purpose and Self Care Plans

The path begins with a decision. A decision to live on purpose, thus making self-care your first priority. Do you believe there is more you could be doing, desire more peace, joy, and fulfillment? If yes, then you are ready to begin your journey, your path to purpose. But this realization also comes with the acceptance that self-care and purpose can be overwhelming, so where do you start?

Great! You decided to move forward with purpose and self-care. Next, learn what it means to live on purpose, how it relates to your inner being, how purpose influences your instinctive growth, and how to use everything you discover as growth steps in your self-care plan. Establishing your path to purpose will touch all aspects of your life through your growth steps, which allows you to implement a self-care plan that fuels your instinctive growth.

Learning to Grow Instinctively

You are born with an instinct towards purpose but may not know how to take hold of it. That’s where growth is necessary. Learning who you are is the first growth step to in your self-care plan. Which may require a fresh start in some areas. You have to open yourself to learning self much like a baby learns self.

For example, babies rely on their instincts for survival and self-discovery. In their first year of life, they discover self first through their five senses. They discover their body through taste and touch, they discover their voice through hearing and speaking and eventually they discover they can move their body on their own, they can sit, then stand, then walk, then run, then talk, and it goes on and on.

Once they have discovered all their natural abilities as a youngster, they are nurtured by their parents, their environment, and they grow! They receive input from their parents, their environments, their connections to people, and their inner self.

But what happens if the child doesn’t grow in this natural process? They become adults with incomplete foundations who don’t know how to nurture and care for self, much less others. As a result, they continue to grow physically but may be stagnated emotionally or spiritually. Your childhood growth pattern determines the path to purpose and self-care.

Growth Step #1: Go back to the basics. Rely on your inner self to learn who you are and use what you discover to grow instinctively.

The Growth Formula

The Growth Formula is designed to assist you with establishing a path to purpose and self-care plan. It involves your whole being and tapping into all resources including your Spirit (God, Universe, Higher Power), your Instincts (Self), and your Focus (Mind). So all are needed because each one brings a different perspective, tool, guidance, and power to your path.

Spirit + Instincts + Focus = Purpose (Growth)

Following this growth formula will fuel you on your path to purpose. It teaches you how to use all your resources to reach your goals. Once you discover your individual design, you will begin to see which resources yield the most return for you.

Realizing the importance of growing daily, where you are stagnate, and what is involved in each part of the Growth Formula is the first step in accomplishing growth and starting a self-care plan. The graphic below shows the Circle of Purpose and how each part of you relates holistically to your path to purpose and self-care. Establishing a path to purpose is the first step in implementing your self-care plan.

circle of purpose, self care plan, instinctive growth, hoistic

Finally, if you are still breathing then you are still growing and living on purpose. Therefore, to accomplish growth you will need to understand how spirituality, instincts, focus, and your mindset contribute to your growth and self-care. Everyday should be an opportunity to practice self-care, it should become like air, you need it to survive.

Contact coach Athena to receive your self-care assessment and planning tool which is designed to help you establish a starting point in your self-care journey.


Purpose of Life: Don’t Abandon Your Gift

Uniquely Created

Being unique means you are one of a kind. You were not made from a mold but fashioned together very carefully. No other being exists like you. There may be someone who is similar to you that may have the same hair color, the same car or listen to the same type of music. But they are not made exactly like you in every way.

That was not done by accident. You were “fearfully and wonderfully made.” To be fearfully made means you were made greatly with much intensity and thought. The first step in learning who you are is to understand how you were made. You are born of His spirit and wonderfully made.

For A Purpose

In Him we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will” Ephesians 1:11 NKJV

Not only are you unique but also you are chosen for a specific purpose that works in accordance with God’s overall plan. Initially you may not know how you fit into the overall plan, which causes you to fumble around in darkness. But as you grow spiritually, you will begin to understand that you have a purpose to fulfill.

You may  have discovered that you are a good writer and begin writing a book about your spiritual journey. You may have discovered you can write and compose songs and begin working on inspirational songs. You may have discovered that you are able to understand and teach God’s word to anyone and begin teaching Sunday school. You may have discovered that you are able to soothe those who are hurting and begin encouraging others. You may have discovered that you are able to lead a group of people and became a leader.

But something went wrong and you began to doubt your ability and effectiveness. Eventually you stopped practicing your gift. You fell into a slump and life became unbearable for you as you began to stumble around in the darkness again. But you can recover from this minor setback because God loves you and has invested in your success.

Expression of His Love

New parents hold their newborn in their arms, gazing in awe at what has been created out of their love. They softly caress her face and check her hands and feet to make sure they are complete. They watch her as she grows and gets excited when she discovers her foot for the first time, then lovingly watches as she keeps putting her new foot in her mouth, exploring it. That is how God is with each of us. We were created out of his love and are lovingly watched as you grow. He gets excited when you discover your first gift and watches as you learn to use it.

Just like the baby starts by putting her foot in her mouth, she soon realizes that her feet are not for eating but for walking. Sometimes you don’t know how to properly use your gift and may use it for the wrong purpose and begin to experience struggle. Continuously doing so may make you decide it’s not worth the effort anymore, so you abandon the gift.

Similarly, the baby, now a toddler, discovers she is able to stand and begin to move around the room if she stands up and moves her feet. She begins to experiment with standing until gradually she builds up to taking a step. This is an exciting time for both parents and child. But if the toddler has a bad experience during her discovery and practice, such as falling or getting hurt, she may experience a set back in perfecting her gift of walking. Without proper guidance from the parent she may try to abandon her gift all together because of fear.

Intimately Known

The parent plays a big role in helping the toddler feel secure and continuing to practice her gift until she masters it because the parent knows the toddler intimately. He watches her practice and anticipates the ways she may mess up, so he makes preparations to keep the toddler on track and avoid a major setback, by installing safety measures in the house. As a result the toddler is walking without assistance and secure in her ability to do so.

God knows you intimately and will do the same for you. When you find yourself struggling or fumbling around in the dark with a gift, pray and allow your spirit to be fulfilled with purpose. Seek guidance to:

  • Ask where you got off track and then ask for the proper way to cultivate your gift.
  • If you have developed a fear in that area, seek protection and courage to practice your gift again.

Just like the parent does with the toddler God will fill your spirit:

  • Give you praise when you reach a milestone,
  • Caution when you are going in the wrong direction,
  • Encouragement when it gets hard,
  • Protection from the unseen dangers and,
  • Lovingly reward you when you get it just right.

Accept Your Gift

So take a minute to revisit that book you stopped writing, that song you stopped composing, those classes you stopped teaching, those people you stopped encouraging, that degree you stopped pursuing or those sheep you stopped shepherding.

Accept that your spiritual gifts  are part of you and that you were fearfully and wonderfully made to fulfill purpose through that gift. It’s time to stand and face those struggles and find out how to start again, but this time ask allow your spirit to guide and actively engage you through your process. You will find it is much easier to navigate your new gift with a little loving guidance.

Living on Purpose: Eric Thomas – Succeeding with Autism

Eric Thomas is a 21 year old college student who has overcome major obstacles related to Autism to pursue his passion of being a video game application developer.  He was non-verbal at the age of two and was diagnosed with Autism at age 7. It is amazing to see his progress as he addressed a group of young adults with Autism in an effort be an inspiration to them. His message, you can achieve your dreams and goals despite your challenges with perseverance and support.

Eric is a graduate of Prince George’s County Public Schools Autism program of which he attended from middle and high school. The skills he learned in this program as well as the Mind Expansion Community Service, Inc (HIP KIDS) program helped him learn skills to live as an adult with Autism in the neurotypical world.

He went on to attend community college where he studied video game design. He has hosted his own YouTube video channel for the last seven years under the handle of Sonic72fast. He has now launched out into the world of Application Development. He has developed over 16 apps that are now available for download in the Google Play Store.

Congratulations Eric for living on purpose!!!

Living on Purpose: Dr. Ivan Joseph – Skill of Self Confidence

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-HYZv6HzAs]

Living on Purpose: Dr. Ivan Joseph

Dr. Ivan Joseph shares how the skill of self confidence is more valuable in process of success and what he looks for in soccer players. He shares ways to build self confidence in those you mentor, coach, or parent.

He defines self confidence as “the ability to believe in yourself to accomplish any task no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, and no matter the adversity.” He shares valuable tips on how keep your self confidence up as well.

Thank you for sharing your purpose Dr. Joseph.

Living on Purpose: Jia Jiang – Lessons from 100 Days of Rejection

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFWyseydTkQ]

Living on Purpose: Jia Jiang

Jia placed himself in purposeful situations where he would be rejected in an effort to combat his fear of rejection. He used this to empower himself due to his destiny and purpose to be an entrepreneur.

In return he learns some valuable life lessons from his experiment using rejection therapy about the power of rejection.

Thank you for living on purpose Jia.

Living on Purpose: Brett Ledbetter – Building Your Inner Coach

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7a5TIzOmeQ]

Living on Purpose: Brett Ledbetter

Brett gives a clear and driven talk about developing your inner coach. He uses information that he learned from some of the top sports coaches to develop this process for building your inner coach.

Life Coaching foundation comes from that of sports coaching. The only difference is the results and the processes. But the role of the coach is the same. I hope this gives you good information that can prepare you for the Life Coaching journey.

Thank you for living on purpose Brett and sharing your knowledge.